My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I enjoy the company of your penis
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
