I look better un-naked...
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize