Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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