Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
