I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
