I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
