i would punch a child for taco bell
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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