I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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