no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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