??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
