id be glad to
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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