She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
