Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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