everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
