yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
