Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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