You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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