girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Randomize
