Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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