Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
Fuck appropriateness.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
