On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
