Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
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