Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
