If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
