You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
