Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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