I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
