Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize