i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
