honey bunches of taint.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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