In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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