I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
