I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize
