I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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