so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
