i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
