gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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