i would one night stand the shit outta him
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
