Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
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