so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
