one word: firstdatebathroomanal
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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