Pants 0. Shit 1.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
