I want to have your abortion
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
My vagina just recognized that song.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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