Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
that's an acceptable place to lick
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Randomize
