Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize