i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
