I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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