I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
There was a lot of him and a little penis
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
