Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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