Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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