was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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