The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
