I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
soo... how was my night?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
