Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
