I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
