Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
