PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
