She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
