Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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