I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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