Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
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