Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Oh god it's open bar.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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