walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Randomize
