In the future we'll all be gay
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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