ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Never joke about your clitoris.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
