I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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