My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I had to cum in my sink.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
